Chemistry

I'm glad we had dinner because now I know that I'm not alone. We may not be together, and we may never be, but that's just fine.

And that's all I needed. Just to not feel alone. That's all anyone really needs right?

Play It Again (Semi rant and reflection?)

The funny thing about writing is that it's harder to do when you yourself are a writer. Now, I'm not saying I'm Ernest Hemingway or anything, but it's difficult for me to put out what I want to say in an elegant manner, one in which I'm actually satisfied with. The comma I just used is a comma splice by the way.

I think it was Mill who said, "It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question. The other party to the comparison knows both sides."

You know, I can't wait for this year to end. I miss my friends. I guess I really took it for granted how we were able to just talk about anything so simply and feel perfectly comfortable about it. Or we could just lie around in someones car and just listen to music. Speaking of which, Ed and I chilled in my car after we got some pho, and we were listening to music in my car. When I finally decided to start the engine, we shortly learned that my car ran out of batteries. I think that happened because I accidentally put the AC on. So for about 1 - 2 hours, we listened to more music. And it was good. Jerry swung by afterwards to jumpstart my car, and we left, but I forgot where we went afterwards.

We were dissatisfied Socratess, plural. Maybe dissatisfieds socrates? Whatever, as long as you get the idea. Maybe individually we weren't the happiest, but we were always out for each other to make each other happy. But I like it like that better. Life isn't about making yourself happy. It's about being happy with other people. Which in turn, makes you happy.

And I'm a nice guy. Or that's what people tell me all the time, and I feel like it's true I guess. I try to be nice and fair all the time. It's just how people should act all the time. I say this not because I'm some goody two shoes or something (though theres nothing wrong with being one if you are). I speak from experience. When you yourself are treated unfairly or douchelike, you remember how it feels, and you refrain from ever behaving that way to others.

But I'm at a crossroads now. Does a satisfied pig deserve to be treated like a dissatisfied Socrates? Idealistically yes, everyone should be treated fairly and nicely. But this world is far from ideal.

I'm tired of lies and manipulation, of being used and under-appreciated. Playing the fool is something I'm really good at, and I do it so I don't have to hurt anyone's feelings. But this is the internet. I'm gonna quote south park on this: You have a lot of growing up to do, suck my balls.

I'll be gone as soon as I can, I can smell summer. Don't be so scared to take a second for reflection.

Hyped Up Right Now

So if you haven't already heard yet, my right shoulder has this condition called shoulder instability where it pops out occasionally under stressful situations. For example, if I fall over and brace myself for impact, I would probably pop my right shoulder out. Or if I'm bench pressing, it's possible that my shoulder would also pop out.

But it's ok, I'm planning on working out like crazy this summer anyways because...

"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLLE!!!"

I think that's going to be my new mantra. I'm gonna yell that after my finals,

"ANYTHINGS POSSIBLLLEEEE!!!!"

or when I final learn how to dunk,

"ANYTHINGS POSSIBBLLLLLLLEEEEE!!"

and if our dorm room bathroom is clean for once when I enter it to go take a dump,

"man I'm so hyped right now, ANYTHINGS POSSIBBLEEEEEEE!!"

Does anybody remember the song Knock You Down? It was overplayed by every radio station, but now that it's died down, you can give it a good clean listen again.

That electric violin sound that they use for the chords sound amazingly thick and rich. And the hi-hat is crisp as it should be. I think this is one of the best put together songs there are. The music video is pretty G as well. The rap is really clear and fluid too.

Definitely one of my favorite songs.

Shuffle

I think I'm really only familiar with 3/4ths of the thousands of songs on my iPod. But this song came up on my shuffle, and I think I'll be obsessing over it for the next few days.

It's really too bad that the quality sucks on this youtube version, but you should definitely give it a listen on my ipod or someone elses. It's worth it.

This song is way better than I'm Yours... At 2:53, the emotion in his verse and the music combined is something that can't be explained in words, but I'm going to give it a shot. There's something about the chords changing as he's singing "said." It's almost as if the notes are just talking to you. I think they're trying to say "I didn't mean it to be this way" or "I'm trying." And the way that he goes into like a vibrato towards the end from a powerful and crisp tone just reeks of emotion.

Say that it isn't so
How she easily come, how she easy go
Please don't tell her that
'Cause she don't really need to know

That I'm crazy like the rest of us
And I'm crazier when I'm next to her

Second Wind

Today marks the end of the fifth week of spring quarter here at UCLA. But it also ends my unofficial midquarter spring break. Unofficial spring break?

Well...

I just finished midterms in the last few weeks, and I did pretty well on them. Consequently, I pretty much didn't show up to most of my lectures this week. I slept in everyday, only to wake up to go to work.

Basically a bad mix of overconfidence and lack of motivation.

But for some reason, I feel super inspired at the moment. A sort of second wind for academics. A second wind, as defined by Wikipedia, is a phenomenon in distance running, such as marathons or road running (as well as other sports), whereby an athlete who is too out of breath and tired to continue suddenly finds the strength to press on at top performance with less exertion.

"To press on at top performance with less exertion"

It's fifth week. I shouldn't be doing things like skipping my classes, I'm not that kind of person.

I remembered today. I remembered everything I was working for and remembered why I'm enduring through my dreadful job and courseload. I want to go to medical school and hopefully become a doctor one day. I want a big family, and a pretty nice place to call home. I want to be able to chill with the homies. I want to repay my mom for all she's done for me, Kanye West says it greatly, but you definitely have to listen to the grammy version.

And when I'm older, you aint gotta work no more

And Imma get you that mansion that we couldn't afford

We'll see how long my second wind lasts.

Lone Wolf

So today, they updated the UCLA Orientation staff website, uploading individual pictures of the staff as well as a panoramic staff picture.

Here's the panoramic group photo:

So there I am in the back, looking all cool with my blue jacket and red shirt. Alright. I'm diggin it.

Now here's the link to the individual staff pictures:

http://www.orientation.ucla.edu/oc.htm

The funny thing is, I've been getting the same reaction from everyone who's seen this.

penguinence 6:53 pm
(6:53:15 PM): man

(6:53:21 PM): everyone keeps saying that im the only one not smiling

(6:53:26 PM): but man

anorigamiturtle 6:53 pm
(6:53:26 PM): LOL

(6:53:27 PM): its true

penguinence 6:53 pm
(6:53:36 PM): I bet I smile more than all of them on average

(6:53:47 PM): so its all good

anorigamiturtle 6:53 pm
(6:53:54 PM): lol

(6:54:07 PM): yeah, but they're all gonna think you're sad as balls all the time

(6:54:07 PM): now

penguinence 6:55 pm
(6:55:45 PM): hahaha

(6:55:47 PM): do I look sad?

anorigamiturtle 6:56 pm
(6:56:07 PM): you look pretty morose

penguinence 6:56 pm
(6:56:12 PM): man

(6:56:15 PM): morose even?

anorigamiturtle 6:56 pm
(6:56:20 PM): yeah

(6:56:20 PM): LOL

So ok, I guess I look morose. But thats just one person right? Well..

will1exp 6:51 pm
(6:51:05 PM): everyones smiling man

(6:51:10 PM): why dont you have anything to smile about

penguinence 6:51 pm
(6:51:23 PM): LOL

will1exp 6:51 pm
(6:51:44 PM): ?

penguinence 6:51 pm
(6:51:50 PM): everyone keeps saying that

will1exp 6:54 pm
(6:54:10 PM): well its true isnt it

(6:54:17 PM): youre such a buzzkillbrian

(6:54:19 PM): everyones all happy

(6:54:26 PM): except for the lone wolf

(6:54:27 PM): on the far right

(6:54:28 PM): in black

(6:54:33 PM): that guys too cool for anything

penguinence 6:54 pm
(6:54:48 PM): LOL

will1exp 6:54 pm
(6:54:56 PM): but you see

(6:54:59 PM): youre not lone wolf status

(6:55:09 PM): that guy is by deviating AWAY from the crowd of guys huddling together

(6:55:18 PM): youre stuck in the middle

(6:55:25 PM): awkwardly refusing to show teeth

penguinence 6:55 pm
(6:55:38 PM): LOL

(6:55:42 PM): the lonewolf

will1exp 6:55 pm
(6:55:47 PM): is that guy badass

penguinence 6:55 pm
(6:55:54 PM): I'd say me and him are tied

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:01 PM): for what

(6:56:03 PM): lone wolf status?

penguinence 6:56 pm
(6:56:05 PM): yeah

(6:56:05 PM): LOL

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:09 PM): why do you say that

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:17 PM): you cant lone wolf it if youre stuck in the middle

penguinence 6:56 pm
(6:56:34 PM): LOL

(6:56:35 PM): man

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:44 PM): so youre not lone wolf

penguinence 6:56 pm
(6:56:46 PM): ok

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:47 PM): youre just buzzkill

penguinence 6:56 pm
(6:56:49 PM): no man

will1exp 6:56 pm
(6:56:56 PM): yeah

(6:56:58 PM): you are

(6:56:58 PM): sadly

penguinence 6:58 pm
(6:58:18 PM): no, im the lone wolf

will1exp 6:58 pm
(6:58:22 PM): no you aint man

(6:58:25 PM): youre the buzzkill

penguinence 6:58 pm
(6:58:30 PM): LOL

penguinence 6:59 pm
(6:59:15 PM): wait

(6:59:17 PM): come to think of it

(6:59:21 PM): the lone wolf isnt smiling either

(6:59:23 PM): in the pics

will1exp 6:59 pm
(6:59:24 PM): i know

(6:59:25 PM): thats why

penguinence 6:59 pm
(6:59:26 PM): LOL

will1exp 6:59 pm
(6:59:28 PM): he is the lone wolf

penguinence 6:59 pm
(6:59:30 PM): no man

(6:59:32 PM): i'm the lone wolf

will1exp 6:59 pm
(6:59:32 PM): but he obtains

(6:59:33 PM): the status

(6:59:38 PM): because hes deviating away from the krew

penguinence 6:59 pm
(6:59:42 PM): LOL

(6:59:43 PM): ok fine

(6:59:49 PM): then im just too cool for school

will1exp 6:59 pm
(6:59:52 PM): LOL

(6:59:53 PM): ok fine

(6:59:56 PM): you can be too cool for school

(7:00:01 PM): but that makes you a horrible OC

penguinence 7:00 pm
(7:00:40 PM): LOL

(7:00:44 PM): you dont understand man

will1exp 7:00 pm
(7:00:47 PM): no man

penguinence 7:00 pm
(7:00:48 PM): people like me

will1exp 7:00 pm
(7:00:48 PM): i do

(7:00:50 PM): youre not smiling

penguinence 7:00 pm
(7:00:53 PM): give more attention to individuals

will1exp 7:00 pm
(7:00:56 PM): if you showed this picture

(7:00:58 PM): to future UCLA students

penguinence 7:00 pm
(7:00:59 PM): we don't care about what the world thnks

will1exp 7:01 pm
(7:01:03 PM): no one would pick you

penguinence 7:01 pm
(7:01:04 PM): LOL

will1exp 7:01 pm
(7:01:05 PM): because youre not smiling

penguinence 7:01 pm
(7:01:08 PM): good thing they dont have a choice

(7:01:09 PM): and

(7:01:11 PM): thats their loss

will1exp 7:01 pm
(7:01:13 PM): LOL

(7:01:17 PM): is lone wolf cool though

penguinence 7:01 pm
(7:01:23 PM): he's pretty cool

will1exp 7:01 pm
(7:01:28 PM): LOOKS COOL

penguinence 7:01 pm
(7:01:31 PM): LOL

(7:01:33 PM): we're both cool ok

will1exp 7:03 pm
(7:03:44 PM): no no

(7:03:50 PM): no one can be as cool as lone wolf

(7:03:53 PM): are you going home this weekend

penguinence 7:03 pm
(7:03:57 PM): I think so

(7:04:01 PM): and I have something to write about now

(7:04:02 PM): in my blog

SO...

If you know me at all, you know that I'm the type of person that is always seemingly happy and smiling too much if anything. In fact, I was once kicked out of my physics class for smiling and laughing too much. Fortunately I dominated the quiz that we had, but yeah.

The point is, some people in the world, such as the lone wolf and I, (actually I'm not sure about lone wolf), but some people such as myself prefer to give people more individual attention and affection to people as opposed to just treating everyone the same in a superficial manner. It's true, that's a false dichotomy, just because you're really extroverted doesn't mean that you don't have good friends, and the opposites are true as well, but that's not the point.

The point is, if you get to know a lone wolf, you'll realize the lone wolf isn't so lonesome to be around. And if you become the friend of a lone wolf, you'll have a good friend for life.

But everyone's always afraid of the big bad wolf.